Just Because

It’s hard because I want a guy to pursue me. To not give up on me….even though right now I don’t want to date or even have a boyfriend because I’m about to start this amazing chapter. I just want someone who refuses to take my ambivalence toward a relationship personally and still is captivated by me enough to put in the work and to take my eye rolls in stride and know that eventually I’ll come around. I want someone to be totally smitten with me- to stare at me and want me. But, I’m usually the pursuer. I go after guys and I usually get them and that’s great and very progressive of me and I get that and I’m proud that I have the confidence to be like that…but it’s just this paradox. I’m worried that eventually I’ll pursue the man who I want to be with and will end up with, but I’ll grow to resent him because he didn’t pursue me. I don’t like having to tell guys that I’m worth noticing- they should just notice me. Just because.

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